There is no way I would believe someone that told me I have only been published for two and a half years. It feels like I have been doing this forever. It is my dream, and it has at last come true.
But it is 1 am and I am sitting in my living room wondering where the hell I am and how I got here. The first book in my latest series, Finding Faith hit #20 on the Amazon KU Gothic Romance charts today. That is mind blowing, I'm sitting here doom scrolling through the clock app, praying that something, anything I did today will help me hit that 10K I have been striving for. Hoping that one day I'll go viral and sell a million copies.
Until then I am here, writing. Up at 5 am to write for a couple of hours before work at 7. Posting videos, finding new followers, and brainstorming my next spicy scene while I trudge through my day at work.
Off at 3:30, writing for an hour and some change. Going to the store for dinner. Hoping on the clock app to go live. Then writing. Then, my website got a face lift. That brings me back to my couch at 1:15 am writing this. Making the decision to hold myself accountable to posting for you all.
Are you out there? Someone? Anyone?
Richard, maybe? He is an incredible fan on Goodreads who posts amazing, detailed, lovely reviews on my books. Is HE here?
I'm not going to lie, the past 18 months I've done a lot of bullshitting, and a lot of soul searching. I made a change.
On April 6th, 2023 at 2 o'clock in the afternoon I took my last drink. The past 18 months have been incredible, but they came with so much pain, heartache, and many questions. Life kept going on, bad news still came, good things happened, but I had to learn how to do it all over sober.
I didn't know if I would write again. I didn't know if I could. I have overcome that hurdle, but still, I sit, and doom scroll for hours. My squirrel brain playing out the next scene in my head until it is perfect.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Will I hit #1 in Gothic Romance, unlikely. Will I hit 10K on the clock app, unlikely. Will I write this book? Yes. Because at the end of the day while I do it for myself and my love of it. I do it for the readers out there who I know are waiting for the next book. Readers like Richard from Goodreads, or the girl from Amazon who consistently read my books and give me the much-needed feedback to keep going.
I'm resolving to start a blog, not some fancy newsletter, there is no way I could have time for that or even know where to start. But this I can do. I can do it because it is writing and that is what I love to do.
So be on the lookout, once a month, maybe more if my brain is feeling squirrely, I'll be dropping a post. Saying hi, giving you updates. Subscribe, head over to my socials and give me a follow. Send me an email and just say hey.
For now, I'm off to dive headfirst back into the spicy scene I've been working towards all day. Binding Sasha is my next book, the 5th book in my Her Fated Mate series, the first of the McTavish brother's stories.
I'm so close to being finished, I can taste it. The words are on the page, the final ideas are there. I just have to have the time to do it. The confidence to do it. The drive to do it.
My publisher told me this past week they know I have the drive to hang on, it will happen. I believe that. This is my dream, and I am living it. For now, I'm off to write about spankings with belts, banshees, wolf-shifters and Death.
I'll catch you next month, when I can say I will most certainly, I'm pretty sure have this book done and have a release date. At the very least I will have a cover soon. Hang on with me. We can do this right?
But one last time for those in the back and those who hung on with me through this ramble.
Where the hell am I and how the FUCK did I get here?
P.S. what now bitches! As of 1:30 this morning I'm #18. How the fuck did I get here?
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